Growing Up with Mommy

My childhood. Growing up almost poor but not knowing it...

When I was 4-years-old my mom remarried and moved my family (I have a younger sister) to the United States. My stepdad was an engineer working in Manhattan. We lived in a one bedroom apartment in Jackson Heights, NY. It small, but cozy in it's familiar way. It was a normal childhood really. Nothing changed until the day my stepdad had a heart attack. That's where this story really starts.

My mom never really had to work for a living. She was a stay-at-home mother who dabbled in a little bit of everything. She started off as an English teacher in Thailand. After she married my father she went to a culinary and beauty school to make life a bit interesting for herself. She started a home business in our front parlor and ran it for a few years quite successfully. After my sister was born my parents amicably divorced and went their separate ways. When she remarried she continued to be a nail art designer in the U.S. But she never made a career out of it. All she really knew was how to spend money, but maybe not too wisely.

After the death of my stepdad at an early age of 36, my mom, who was 44 at the time, had to provide for our little family. My parents had made a down payment on a fixer upper out on Long Island in a town called Shirley. That dream was squashed but through the help of a friend, my mom was able to get the money back. She used that money to move us out to where we are now on Long Island and to purchased a brand new 1996 Dodge Caravan which she still uses today.

To be honest, I don't think my mom ever heard of the word budget nor did she ever showed signs of implementing one. I just remember that if I wanted something, my mom rarely said no. We lived off cash and credit cards and the savings account barely made it past $2000 most years since my mom would take money out of it to pay our bills.

All I knew growing up is that 1) we didn't have a lot of money 2) we were never hungry 3) I need a good paying job in the future.

From 4th grade onward I made sure to get good grades. My goal was to get a good education so I can get a good job so I can help my mom. In Thai and most Asian cultures, we are taught from birth to respect our elders and to help our parents. It meant that when they needed money, you gave it to them. We're a family and we help each other out. When I was 15 I couldn't wait to be 16 so I can start working. I think most girls dreamed about their Sweet 16 while I was planning ways to get a job.